The other day it dawned on my three-year-old who a certain person is and walked right up to her and called her moo cow. I must admit when it happened a shock wave went right through me and left me speechless. I did know immediately that it was something I would not apologize to her (the cow) for or expect my three-year-old to apologize for. Plus, I have made it a point not to speak to cow unless I absolutely have to.
Of course, it is assumed I had “coached” my daughter. The reality is that I, several family members and acquaintances have referred to this person as a cow for over a decade now. A name she has earned for all the unnecessary trouble, pain, abuse and mayhem she has caused my family and continues to do so. Because of the family dynamics, it looks like we all will have to tolerate her stupidity, obnoxious behavior, loud mouth, psychotic outbreaks, drug induced stupors and numerous lies until life decides it has had enough of her.
Later that same day, cow decided to try to stir up some more trouble by purposely getting my baby to call her a moo cow again. She is so evil and selfish that she tried to get a three-year-old in trouble just so she could say her name was not moo cow. She is so stupid, she actually thinks she can influence my small child that she sees maybe three times a year. I do not just mean name wise. The whole week cow, put on a comedic performance. She overdid her fake, unconvincing performance of “I am the sweetest, nicest person you will ever meet.” She pulled out her best tricks to sway my daughter’s viewpoint. She thought it would make me angry to see her interact with my daughter. It actually did not. Yes, I noticed the sly satisfied looks she sent my way when I was in the room. Yes, I noticed how she mooed louder and cackled louder when I was not in the room. Several times I had to leave a room, not because I was upset, but to stifle my laughter at her performance. It just become too difficult to not break out in laughter and call her a stupid cow.
I also know something cow overlooked. There is a whole family that now knows of the evil she is capable of. Cow will not get the chance to hurt my baby girl like she was able to with my older children when they were smaller. I am no longer a lone adult with small children crying out to the justice system that refused to get involved. My baby has a mommy, AND adult siblings that will make sure the cow is put behind bars if she tries to pull even the smallest of evils she did to my older children. It’s not just that. My young daughter has shown herself to be an intelligent being. I am confident she will soon see right through cow’s masks of sweetness and gifts to the dark, oily, psycho, fucked up cow she really is.
I have to say I am seriously impressed that my three-year-old was able to put two and two together and figure out who she is. Especially since the only time this cow has been brought up lately is to warn others that she is coming or when one of the family members has had to endure her in some way or another (which thankfully hasn’t happened too much this year). Then again, maybe my girl is a pure genius and called it like she saw it and was letting the cow know that no rawhide will be pulled over her eyes.
I full on envy my daughter that she was able to say to cow’s face what so many of us would like to say to her and my girl did it with a huge grin on her face to boot. Not that I have never called cow, a cow, to her face, because I have… But to do it now would cause discomfort to our host who I respect and care about. No, I am not sorry and for now, I will hold my tongue on calling cow, a cow, to her face, but you never know what’s going to pop out of a sweet toddler’s mouth.
Disclaimer: Please note that it is not normal for me to go around calling people derogatory names in place of their given names. Nor is it normal behavior for me to condone it. I have talked with my daughter and told her that calling someone a cow or moo cow can hurt feelings… et cetera………